SnackVac: The Tastiest New Vaccine

SnackVac is the boundary-defying new vaccine developed by Oceanside University and the Mama New Guinea Ministry of Health. The vaccine takes on the form of various snacks. "It can take on the form of all kinds of snack foods!" a spokesperson from the government of Mama New Guinea excitedly told us. Currently, it's in three forms including SnackVac Wafer, SnackVac Chocolate Cigar, and SnackVac Tamarind Taro. We're excited for the other forms of this new vaccine against the coronavirus. 

Phases I, II, and III were successfully completed with volunteers from all across Mama New Guinea. "It's delicious!" said one of the volunteers about the SnackVac Wafer, "I couldn't stop eating it." Good thing for snack-lovers, there's no maximum dose to the SnackVac varieties. You can eat as much as you want. The only negative side effect is weight gain. However, gaining a few extra pounds while protecting against the lethal strains of covid-19 isn't a huge deal for most Mama New Guinea citizens. "I'd rather be fat than contract the virus," said another SnackVac volunteer who was involved in Phase III of the testing. 

The new Mama New Guinean vaccine is among the first to be orally administered and easily the tastiest among the oral vaccines. It causes no gastrointestinal tract irritation. This was something that stuck out during Phase I when only a few dozen people were tested. One in three reported gastrointestinal tract irritation. The scientists and chefs behind the new vaccine upgraded its components before Phase II. There were no similar reports after Phase II. And it wasn't until Phase III, in which over 79,000 volunteers participated, that most of the feedback from volunteers were regarding the delicious taste of the various SnackVac forms.

An Oceanside University scientists on the SnackVac development team informed us that the edible vaccine has delayed-release formulations. "That's also why there's no maximum dose," he added before biting another piece of a SnackVac Wafer. The whole team seemed to be carrying bowls of SnackVac edibles around throughout the research compound. They were very enthusiastic about their own domestic vaccine. Apparently, the lead scientist encouraged them to eat the vaccine-snacks throughout the day. 

Next month will see the final phase of trial testing. And after that, the snacks will be readily available throughout the island nation of Mama New Guinea. Various forms of SnackVac will be made available to the international community, later this year. Mama New Guinea officials have stated on numerous occasions that they'd like to donate crates of the vaccines to nations that can't afford them. Meanwhile, for nations that can afford them, it's not only a tasty alternative to a jab but it's also an economic alternative. A whole apartment block of people can be vaccinated with the SnackVac snacks for the same price of one Pfizer jab.

The SnackVac varieties don't need to be kept at a certain temperature just as long as they're not left directly under the sun. "Transportation of the drug should be very easy," Marmalade Mikioka, the president of the island state, assured the public at a recent press conference. The government has been working closely with snack food producers around the country to come up with dozens of different snack types. "If you don't like one kind of snack, then you can be vaccinated with another kind," said the lead chef behind SnackVac.

The development of SnackVac acts as a beacon of hope for lower-income nations who want to produce their own vaccines. This bold endeavour by Mama New Guinea rocked the world and let them know that you don't need to be a high-income country to create effective vaccines. Rumours of a cigarette-based vaccine are also circulating from neighbouring Saladabar Republic. The government has made no comment on the supposed smoke-inhaled vaccine. However, there are enough medical papers circulating around the country that directly address this new inhaled medication. A secret picture of a scientist strapped to a nebulizer mask was also leaked and published in a Saladabarian newspaper. This further reinforced the idea that a smoke-inhaled vaccine was underway in the tropical republic.