The Couchsurfing Curtain

I have been a pioneering member of Couchsurfing since 2010. I first opened an account to have a trip on the west coast of North America. I had an unforgettable experience surfing in Seattle for the first time. I still stay in touch with my host there once in a while. After a handful of surfing experiences on the west coast, three times hosting travellers in my own home in Windsor, and a few instances of using a friend's account to be hosted in Europe, I have come to the Hatyai phase of my Couchsurfing career.

Hatyai is a city in southern Thailand near the Malaysian border. It is the 5th largest municipality in Thailand according to Wikipedia. It is also the largest city in the south of Thailand. Before I moved here about a year and a half ago, all my Couchsurfing experiences in Thailand were as a traveller. I hadn't yet hosted while living anywhere else before moving to Hatyai.

Hatyai is truly a transit capital and gets a lot of travellers passing through. Most couchsurfers passing through Hatyai have been either entering Thailand for the first time from Malaysia, or ready to exit the country into Malaysia. This southern capital is seen as a very relevant post for people moving in either direction as well as some travellers who come to visit the city itself. Most travellers who only come to visit Hatyai for a few days or a week are usually coming from neighbouring Malaysia, Indonesia, or Singapore. Hatyai Airport serves flights to and from Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, and 6 other locations in Thailand.

For hitchhikers and cyclists, Hatyai seems like a good rest spot whether travelling north or south. In the year and a half of having opened my couch here, I have hosted over 80 travellers. With a total of 111 references, divided by the 84 references from travellers I've received in Hatyai gives 75% of all my Couchsurfing activity having been hosting in Hatyai. That percentage is due to grow in the upcoming year as my couch is still open to respectful visitors.

In the last 5-6 months of hosting here, I have changed my Current Mission paragraph on my profile to overcome some challenges I've faced while couchsurfing. One ongoing challenge is that most travellers still send requests without an indication of having read my profile. Before the Couchsurfing app, there were two text boxes when requesting on the Couchsurfing website. One box prompted you to write about your trip in general while the second box prompted you to write about why you think this host is a good match for you. The idea was that you would read the host's profile and prepare a few common points of interest to mention in the request. That way, the host knows you took the time to read their profile and that your time together will be well spent. There are many new members these days who are requesting without the necessary indication of having read my profile.

That is why my Current Mission, the first paragraph written on my profile reads as follows:

It's my current mission to attract and host couchsurfers with a sense of community. I have had the pleasure of meeting members who helped me to make my dreams come true. Really. I'm now interested in co-creating with other surfers on common interest projects. Please be sure to mention or ask about this in your request to me. It's essential that you do. Let's co-create together!

A lot of people have been mindful of this message and they ended up co-creating with me! It is enough for a couchsurfer to mention any part of this first paragraph to be accepted - as long as I am available to host. Surfers have come by and co-created dance videos with me. They have come and worked on music projects with me. 

One other challenge that I overcome with such a mission, is that I curb Couchsurfing to integrate with my ultimate dreams. And so I can't ever say that Couchsurfing is preventing me from catching up with what's important for me. That's because it is set up in a way that fuels what is ultimately important for me.

Apart from co-creating with couchsurfers, they have helped in many other ways as well. My last surfers brought me medicine at a time when I was sick. They also brought me food, which saved me from the arduous mission of going out feeling sick and tired. Couchsurfers have helped me discover my own city, gone on journeys with me, hosted me in their own homes, and brought their own unique messages that I needed to hear.

So far I haven't hosted anybody in 2019. Though I have declined two requests already due to people not reading the first paragraph. One surfer I had to decline today wrote that she thinks I would be a brilliant host based on what she read on my profile. Had she truly read my profile, she would have mentioned something from the first paragraph about co-creation. Some people have said that they didn't understand what I wrote there. While others, have asked me 'what is this about?' Asking about it is enough to let someone in. And it is also a wiser response to something we don't understand, parallel to all of life. When you don't know or understand something, just ask. 

My next scheduled surfer is Tibor from Czech Republic. He stayed with me before and we definitely got along well. He was someone who asked what my current mission and co-creating were all about. He is somebody who knows how to ask questions and listen. Tibor and I created a music project together, in which he performed a poem he wrote being featured in the dance track. It will be his second time staying here, and I look forward to our long curiosity-driven conversations once he comes back. Also Tibor quit smoking here! I don't know if he continued after he left but I was really glad I shared my story about quitting smoking with him.

A lot of local Thai people have been surprised about why I let travellers stay in my home for free. A lot of people, when first introduced to this idea, ask me why I don't charge them to stay here. Well, charging money isn't part of the Couchsurfing agreement. There are other websites and apps for that. Many of my neighbours are now used to the traffic of travellers using my place as a rest stop in their journey. The neighbours often have questions for the travellers about where they're from and where they're going. If it weren't for Couchsurfing, these locals might not get the chance to interact with these globetrotters. I like being the interpreter to the conversations that sometimes take place.

Though there are many locals on Couchsurfing here in Hatyai, most of them aren't active hosts. They host once in a while and would rather meet up with travellers for a drink. When I had first opened up my availability in Hatyai, I had about a dozen references, which grew to 111 in the time I kept my couch open. Most other hosts here had their numbers stay the same or rise incrementally in the same time period. 

It's not really about the numbers. It's about opening your door to travellers and being of service to humanity. It's a greater experience to be staying with a local resident of a place rather than staying in a hotel room. The hotel room seems empty in comparison. 

I will continue to update this blog with Couchsurfing stories. I don't want to splash all my stories on the screen with one post. It's better to pan it out.

https://www.couchsurfing.com/people/vibrations