Is the World Ready for Couchsurfing?
That answer may depend on the part of the world you are in. But one thing is for certain, if we had a global culture of hospitality, then the Couchsurfing organization would not be needed. It wouldn't stand out as anything different than what is considered normal if everybody were willing to open their doors to travellers and people in need. As a Turkish person, I was brought up witnessing hospitality being shown to all our guests. The guests were treated as kings to whatever degree the household could manage. But even my own parents had a hard time with the idea of opening up our couch to travellers passing by.
Right now in the world, there are many conflicts and many people escaping conflict zones. These people could benefit from a global identity that is open to hosting them. But this attitude of giving and caring for guests and people in need is far from embraced by most individuals on the planet. Many people aren't ready to trust someone they haven't met before. And many others wouldn't dream of letting these globetrotters in their house for a moment, let alone a night. The world could use more hospitality and more importantly it could use people ready to give without trying to make a profit at every step. So before I continue, I would like to celebrate every couchsurfer I have met. Thank you for contributing to a healing and more giving planet. You are helping to make life on Earth a greater experience than what previous generations have seen.
This past week we moved to a new house and I intend to update you on that in upcoming posts on the blog. While we were moving, we had some resistance with the old landlord. Because we had given her such short notice, she told us that she would not be returning our deposit money. But after talking to her about it, she said she would return the deposit if we stayed until the end of the month. That's when we decided to let Clara, a CSer on her second time staying with me, use the old apartment for the time being. She agreed to pay for water and electricty, as well as giving us a little amount for rent. The following day we revealed this to our landlord and we were met with a strict rejection of the idea. The landlord went so far as to say she would just give us our deposit money back as long as we just left. She didn't consider letting Clara stay at all.
Clara could have used the space but she's flexible and has many other options. I would have enjoyed knowing Clara was in Hatyai, especially since we were talking about collaborating on a dance project together. But it didn't go down and there will be more opportunities in the future. And I realize letting Clara pay for the space to stay for 2-3 weeks is outside of Couchsurfing - no money exchange is permitted in the CS agreement. On her first time, Clara had sent me a proper couch request but this time around she just messaged me on WhatsApp saying "Hey, I'm coming to Hatyai." Also she didn't drop a dime for the couple of days that she did stay with us this time around - as is the standard. I was just helping a friend have access to accommodation and it makes me wonder about the state of the world. More specifically, it makes me wonder about the level of consciousness we are at as a collective. Most people here look at the idea of Couchsurfing with suspicion. And many people have asked me why I don't take the opportunity to make some extra income from the travellers. Why does everything need a profit margin?
For the three years that I stayed at my old apartment, it would have been nice to know the landlord and other neighbours supported my hosting travellers. It added diversity and depth to the local market in which my apartment was situated. Many of the marketeers benefitted from having these travellers purchase their various products. Others benefitted from chatting and making small talk with the travellers. It was a win-win. I wish I had more deliberate support from the market people and my neighbours. My landlords had questioned me several times at the beginning of my opening up the couch to accept guests. And one and a half year into my Couchsurfing journey in Hatyai, they said that the government now required me to report every single traveller to stay in my home to the immigration office. That didn't help but neither did it ever happen.
So is the world ready for Couchsurfing? No, it isn't. And that's exactly what makes it so necessary. These hosting and travelling experiences are seeds that are being planted into the fabric of our time and space. In time, they will grow into seeds of greater giving and hospitality on the planet. Maybe one day we will reach a time when many people ask "Couchsurfing? For what?" - not because they don't feel a need for generosity and hospitality, but because the collective has opened up to such a degree that most people would be willing to help a traveller passing through. And in that day and age, there would be no special need for Couchsurfing or any similar organization. So again, I thank all couchsurfers for sewing the seeds for a greater humanity on Earth.
I have a Pioneer Badge on my profile, meaning I was among the first wave of surfers. However, I feel that all couchsurfers are pioneers. We are pioneering greater trust on the planet. We are pioneering safer networks and a friendlier collective of souls living in harmony with one another. Hospitality and generosity flourish in the footsteps of couchsurfers. Cooperation is the name of the game and Couchsurfing is the manifestation of greater cooperation in a healing world.
This is Clara here. Your blog post put me in a state of deeper thought. As someone who surfed and host occasionally, I do meet up with a bunch of interesting people from time to time. I was very skeptical of this platform from the start. I heard about this platform earlier than 2009 and I have always kept that information in the backburner.
ReplyDeleteMy first host in 2015, an elderly lady in Australia who hosted at least 100 different people in 365 days opened my eyes about the possibility about a different type of world. There were so many interesting stories from her. One especially memorable one was a Chinese student from a small Chinese village who wanted to study health and physiotherapy. She was hosted for a year! At that time, China was not a very open country. The amount people made in these small villages could be less than 150 USD per year. Mobility was limited. People from these situations need to save for a very long time to buy an air ticket out. People who allows space for these dreams to manifest are great souls in my personal opinion. However, there are also those that she hosted that were not so well mannered. I heard about the case of an Italian guy that was hosted for more than two months and have to be asked to leave. He had never left the country in more than 30 years and his elderly mother worried for him. So he went on couchsufing, found the Australian host and found a new mother. -_-' All the time he was there staying for free, he complained about the prices in Australia. "Why are hotels so expensive there, why is eating out so expensive? *blah blah blah*"To facilitate his emotional development, his suffering Italian mother sent some money to the Australian lady and told her to put up with him. "The poor dear have never been out of the country", she said and the host did till he was intolerable to put up with.
You mentioned your parents had a hard time with the idea of opening up the couch to travellers passing by. I would say from a female perspective that I talked about the same thing years ago and the idea was immediately dismissed by my mother, but after hosting for the next few months myself, my conclusion was that she is right in certain ways and safety was the ultimate consideration and the actions of some people do not make society a very safe place to be in. Society cannot be so open now if we are to function normally now as compared to the past. I personally know of female hosts who told me about sexual assault and was myself personally propositioned by someone who had over 70 positive references (Not a single negative reference) after the exchange was over. I doubt certain references now. Other hosts in the same region have also told me they are expected to pay for food, besides offering free tours and rides and so they need to stop hosting for certain time periods as the burnout was too big.
The safety factor can be balanced in a better way if hosts choose to host people of one gender as with older times where larger segregation between the genders was taken into consideration. I understand that hosts from certain countries with a Muslim background practiced this and certain female surfers from that background dismissed me immediately if they have to share an open living area with a male guest. I only understood why this was in place from their cultural perspective when the above stated incidents occurred. This is to ensure a safer environment overall and I now host only female guests unless I was hosted before.
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Some of the quality of the requests are also highly questionable if they have never used the platform before as you have written in a blog post. One of the earliest example was I was asked if I can host 4 guests even though my limit was 2 and they stated they have limited funds to travel. It was an 18 year old female in a tudung in her profile picture. Also, as with some cities, I believe you have more hosts than travellers and travellers have their pick for hosts to stay with. (The world is more open now than you think? People have so many options now till hosts tire of it because guests are not turning up due to having multiple accepted options) In fact where I have accepted some requests, some decide that a 8km direct bus ride was too much for them to bear after they realised I was not hosting in the city center. They allow you to spend hours waiting for them after deciding to save money on a SIM card and gave intermittent replies about having no wifi. Also, from a multi-dimensional perspective, what suites another hosts might not work out elsewhere. I notice on your list that someone with all the correct principles of co-creation have turned up at your place, but have also made a request to stay with me previously and was accepted, but simply did not turn up because maybe the last place in the same state was too exciting to video. A simple lunch or drink in a meetup would have resolved that issue, but for reason, such basic aspects of mannerism was not even taken note of.
DeleteThe world is very open now, just that we need the proper etiquette both as hosts or as guests.
Clara
Dear Clara, thank you for your contribution. Your comments deserve a blog post of their own (perhaps an idea for a future collaboration). I imagine that allowing people's dreams to manifest through the CS platform is the highest possible purpose CS can serve. Co-creating with certain guests and hosts has taken me steps further along my own dreams and I want to continue using the platform to propel my ultimate dreams and those of others. And indeed, it opens up the possibilities to different kinds of worlds than we know. Many CSers come through telling me that it was their dream to travel the world. Or you see it written on their profiles. And if I am enabling someone's dreams simply by making their journey easier, then that makes me feel rather fulfilled.
ReplyDeleteAs far as surfing and hosting with people of the opposite gender, it needs to be understood that the CS platform is far from those intents and purposes. There are plenty of other platforms that offer that and it's a degeneration for people to intentionally look for that on Couchsurfing. I have heard the stories from both genders of their boundaries being trespassed. Thus, it makes the whole endeavour of hosting a female all the more sensitive for me. It's already sensitive to begin with but when women come in saying that their previous host tried something like that on them, it makes me aware of the fragility of their presence here. In fact, it takes a brave soul to come stay with me, a guy, after just having had an experience where their male host tried incessantly to get with them. For now, the only soul-ution I can think of is that people need to be made aware of the higher purposes CS can fulfill. The same lot also need an education on CS principles.
Peace,
Egemen aka Ace Beaming Sun